Where's my Pigskin Pete?

“Good morning, Also-ran Central.”

Thankfully, it seems 24 of the NHL’s 30 general managers were too busy with their barbecues and fireworks Wednesday to give the free agent market their full attention. As such, it’s going to the backburner today.

The bigger issue is something Sportsnet.ca reported Wednesday in a column by Perry Lefko. Alongside all the other JV crap the Hamilton Tiger-Cats have pulled in the last eight-- never mind, let’s call a spade a spade-- 18 months, almost all of which will be forgiven if the team starts to be competitive, they’ve crossed the line with this one thing:

THERE IS NO PIGSKIN PETE!

That’s right. After gutting the roster, fielding the worst team in recent memory (probably in team history) while players were tanking to get their coaches fired, bringing Ron Lancaster back, further gutting the roster, forcing Mike Morreale and Rob Hitchcock to retire, and countless other transgressions (including asking me to renew my season tickets), the team has the gall to open their home schedule without a Pigskin Pete? Worse still, the team appears to be indicating they’ll play the season without.

This is the last straw. TC and Stripes are fine and dandy, but mascots are important. Youppi! was such an icon that after the Expos left Montreal, the Canadiens adopted him (and the Youppi!ville museum at the Bell Centre is amazing). And who would even think of playing one game in Philadelphia without the Philly Phanatic? Pigskin Pete is the same kind of iconic mascot. In eight months, the Ti-Cats couldn’t find one jolly fat man in the whole Golden Horseshoe? This is abhorrent. I still haven’t forgiven the Blue Jays for replacing BJ Birdie with Ace (and Jay Force can lick me), and I’m not sure I’ll be able to forgive the Ti-Cats for this one.

And that’s not the only outrage from Wednesday. Kobayashi was beaten at the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Competition (I bet you didn’t know that’s what the event’s called). We have a new hot dog-eating champion of the world: American Joey Chestnut, who set a world record by eating 66 whole hot dogs in 12 minutes.

And Jeremy Roenick is retiring. Clearly, he stayed too long, and in recent years his mouth had him in the news more often than his play did. But he’s an all-time All-Francis guy (by the way, I haven’t filed an All-Francis team since before the lockout, but I promise it’ll be back next season). His overtime goal to knock Toronto out of the 2004 playoffs plays in my eternal Leafs highlights reel (sandwiched between Wayne Gretzky’s high stick on Doug Gilmour, and Zdeno Chara tossing Bryan McCabe around like a rag-doll). And his early days in Chicago were the stuff legends are made of. I don’t know anyone that won’t miss Roenick. Sadly, he spent too much of his career in the desert and didn’t win enough championships to be a lock for the Hall of Fame, but it says here his 1,170 points are more than enough, and those early days in Chicago (596 points in 524 games) leading up to the 1996 World Cup of Hockey helped put USA Hockey back on the map. Not only should Roenick be a lock for the Hall, he should be a first-ballot inductee.

Now, my life this week: the free agents.

Montreal signed Tom Kostopoulos, who should see about as much ice time as Youppi! this season. Kostopoulos signed for two years at $1.8 million and actually scored seven goals last season, along with 15 helpers. He’s a good spare part, but if Montreal thinks they’re going to win with four fourth-lines, they’re sadly mistaken.

The New York Islanders signed Ruslan Fedotenko (who has a Stanley Cup-winning goal to his credit) to a one-year, $2.9 million deal. Fedotenko is a top-line candidate with the recently dismantled Islanders.

Buffalo finally kept one of their free agents, re-signing Teppo Numminen to a one-year, $2.6 million contract. Numminen was a steadying force on the Sabres blue line last season, and may be considered to take over the team captaincy.

The Atlanta Thrashers also re-signed one of their own Wednesday, locking Slava Kozlov up for three years at $11 million. Kozlov has been very productive in Atlanta during the last four seasons, and three of his five highest-scoring seasons have come in that time, including a career-high 80 points last season. He’s a good fit in Atlanta, and playing with Ilya Kovalchuk has Kozlov playing like he’s 10 years younger than he really is.

Lastly, just because he hasn’t taken enough of a beating in the media since 2004, the Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez has a sore hamstring and may skip the All-Star Game. I can’t imagine the New York Post will react negatively.